Return to the Moon

Great news for those old farts who think the anime industry is setting itself on fire with a all these horrible shows about obnoxious teenage schoolgirls with enormous eyes! Toei has gone full gaming industry, decided they like money and announced they will be remaking Sailor Moon for 2013’s summer anime reason. Even better is that the remake will air worldwide. The anime community rejoiced at the prospect of a new instalment in this beloved franchise about… uhm… obnoxious teenage schoolgirls with enormous eyes.

Anyways, back when Pluto was still a planet — and a Sailor Senshi — Sailor Moon told the very long story of a really peppy schoolgirl named Usagi (Serena/Bunny in the dub) who spends her days being clumsy. A mysterious cat named Luna tells Usagi she is destined to save the earth and gives her the power to tap into the magic of the moon and transform into Sailor Moon! Together with Luna, Sailor Moon has to awaken the Moon Princess, alongside incarnations of the other members of the Moon court, amongst which the other Sailor Scouts and Tuxedo Mask, who is quite obviously the jerk Usagi gets in a fight with at least once an episode.

Don’t you think that was the most pointless paragraph of anime blogging you have ever read? I don’t. I haven’t seen a single episode of Sailor Moon in over ten years, after local television mercilessly dropped it after a measly 20 episodes. Plot details of Sailor Moon have been pushed to the very deepest cellars of my mind, alongside other traumatic childhood experiences. Not that I never loved Sailor Moon. Au contraire.

Sailor Moon was one of the few anime that actually graced the Belgian television screens during my holy childhood. The reason why it was such a succes is rather obvious. It just worked. Before Sailor Moon, magical girls were grade schoolers who wore frilly dresses and granted wishes, often causing more hilarity than good. The Sailor Senshi were actual superheroes. Female superheroes who weren’t there to be politically correct, to be love interests or to be scantily clad. Sailor Moon and her best friends used their destructive powers — like the heroes in shounen anime — to kick evil ass and demolish the wall separating innocent, girly anime from action-packed anime for boys. Without Sailor Moon, there would be no Pretty Cure, no Nanoha, no Puella Magi Madoka Magica, and its influence went much further than just magical girl anime.

Being the kid who refused to get out of bed when he found out local television would finally stop its reruns of Pokémon, I did not take its cancelation well. Nor did my friends take it well when I lamented the loss of my beloved show for little girls while they were too busy discussing Dragonball Z. While I know who Vegeta and Krillin are and how bloody long it took Goku to throw his Spirit Bomb at Frieza, I never really liked Dragonball Z. In fact, back in the days, I found it to be so violent it scared me. My Saturday mornings were filled with moonstones and sparkles, and a small part of me died when the show got dropped. The very last I remember of Sailor Moon is Usagi’s muggle friend Naru crying bitter tears over the quite gruesome death of her lover Nephrite, who happened to be moonlighting as the enemy Dark Kingdom’s resident douchebag commander.

It’s been more than ten years since I’ve last seen an episode of Sailor Moon and my memories about it are very hazy, as proven by my hour long Wikipedia session before writing this rather pointless blog. Strange how I never bothered to catch up, but the fact that it is over 200 episodes long may have something to do with that. With the remake coming up, I can finally wrong this right.

“Moon Prism Power, Make-UP!”

One thought on “Return to the Moon

  1. Pingback: I can’t stop thinking about Winx Club | Retroversy

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