Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
Rin’s kneesocks were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St.-Nicholas soon would be there.

The innocent children slept snug in their beds,
Save for poor Shirou, whose parents were dead.
Even Shinji Matou, that damn little pest
Had managed to lay his sad ass to rest.

When out high in the sky shone a light so badass,
All sprang from their bed and gathered en masse.
To gaze out the window to this awesome flash,
They opened the shutters and threw up the sash.

Type Moon’s reflection off the new-fallen snow
Gave the shine of Ea’s hilt to objects below.
When to their wondering eyes appeared in full,
A glistening chariot, and two breezing bulls.

With a vigorous driver, so lively and gar,
Everyone knew it was the Lord of War.
More rapid than Gae Bolg his oxen they came,
And he roared with laughter and bellowed their names!

“Ride forward, my friends, let us go to war!
For I’m the King of Conquest, Iskandar!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!”

As people are kicked, after which they fly,
When they meet with Lancer, launched to the sky.
So up to the housetops the oxen they flew,
With the chariot full of toys, and Alexander too.

And then, in a twinkling, Rin heard a loud boom
The chariot had burst through the wall into her room.
A meek individual fell down on her bed,
And grinning ferociously was a man dressed in red.

He was clad all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with scratches and blood.
A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,
While Rin nearly died from a heart attack.

He seemed rather merry, and scratched his dome,
Then yelled he would conquer every child’s home!
So Rin screamed “Help! A creepy old hick”
And ravaged his nuts with an oddly fierce kick

Rider did not bulge, though, his balls were too hard!
He smiled and he gave Rin a gift and a card.
She always got what she wanted — being so rich
But the iPad he gave her was quite quickly ditched!

He left the Tohsakas, and flew on through the night,
Delivering presents ’till the morning light
For Sakura a bug net, for Shinji a tome
For Ilya some parents and a welcoming home.

Even Lord Kayneth had a wonderful night
Except for the fact his poor Servant just died
The King of Heroes did get quite upset
when Santa gave something he already had!

At dawn, Alexander flew way once again
He yelled: “Know this: Life’s not only pain!
A wonderful Christmas for all children fair,

… Except for those Caster has trapped in his lair!”

A marvelous Christmas from everyone at the Glorio Blog!