Hello, and welcome to All Your Monies, where The Glorio Blog’s resident toy and figure collecting crew (and Aquagaze) will run down the last week’s new preorders, turning a loving or scathing eye over what’s been put out for you to spend your hard earned cash on. This week, Bandai takes over the feature and it’s AWESOME.

S.H. Figuarts Magical Girl Kamen Rider Beast (Kamen Rider Wizard)
Bandai, June, 2570JPY

Zigg:  Beast still has an extremely cool design and as ever with the S.H. Figuarts range, the sculpt is excellent and really brings out the chunky, armour-like qualities of the costume.  What’s not so palatable is the limited range of accessories. While you get his saber as you might expect, there’s precious little else include. That’s because, in a classic dick move, Bandai have decided to sell all of his ‘mants’ as a separate package. To rub salt into the wound, it’s a Tamashii web exclusive, meaning that if you want them you’ll need to pony up for a proxy.  It’s also worth pointing out that as with Wizard Flame Dragon, Beast comes in five different variations, each with a different stand representing a different rider (Beast himself, Kuuga, 555, Decade and Double). The figure itself still looks pretty sweet, it’s just a shame dubious business makes it less than it could have been.

Aqua: Who’s this guy? Is he from Kamen Rider Wizard? I’ve never seen him before in the entire show! Joking aside, Beastie looks pretty darn neat, as expected of a Figuarts. His joints stick out a bit more sorely than in Wizard’s case, but at least there is still the black to make them stand out less. Another downside is that he does not come with any Mants (Zigg’s Notes – see above), which makes him look a bit barebones, especially since he literally has nothing less to fight with than that flimsy sword. On the other hand, the details on the suit, especially the gold, look astonishing. Not a must have for Rider fans like Wizard was, but a nice addition to the collection of anyone who holds the L-I-O-N particularly close to their heart.

Jel: All the Kamen Riders look the same to me but I guess he looks like a lion or something? I guess his bug eyes and gold mask thingy look nice but what’s up with that belt?

Lifesong: A man wearing a golden bug suit? I honestly don’t understand the appeal of these.

S.H. Figuarts Kamen Rider Double Cyclone/Joker (Kamen Rider Double)
Bandai, June 2013, 1830JPY (Second re-issue)

Zigg: It’s nice to see Bandai going back and rereleasing some of their older Kamen Rider Figuarts for those who missed them first time round. Double here is evidently one of the most popular, as this will be the second time he’s been put back on shelves, and it’s easy to see why, as it’s a smart, chunky and impeccably detailed rendition. Again, this is a barebones pack, but that’s more acceptable given that the character doesn’t really use weapons anyway and also taking into the account the attractive price. As somebody who owns the previous release of this, I can thoroughly recommend it.

Aqua: What’s even cooler than just any Figuarts? How about a Figuarts of Kamen Rider Double, the most hard-boiled Kamen Rider of all time! Well… except for Skull… Anyways, what’s even cooler than a Figuarts of Kamen Rider Double? How about a Figuarts of Kamen Rider Double that ships for less than 2000 yen? That’s right, you can buy three of these bad boys for the price of a regular figure. Holy smokes. Bandai’s interpretation hits all the nails on their heads, from the glossy/matte contrast between the Cyclone and the Joker half to the different hands included for fabulous posing potential. The only downside is the complete lack of accessoires — partly to blame on CycloneJoker not using any — but for 1800 yen, you cannot complain.

Jel: Hey this guy has two color schemes, it’s like getting two bug guys for the price of one! And only 1800 yen? Sounds like a deal.

Lifesong: Another man wearing a bug suit. Not my thing.. pass.

D-ARTS Blastoise (Pokemon)
Bandai, June, 2790JPY

Zigg: Blastoise has long been one of my favourite Pokemon. I mean, he has motherfucking cannons in his back! Eat your heart out Charizard. In any case, this looks to be another fine effort in the Pokemon D-ARTS range, which has quickly established itself as highly commendable. Blastoise’s stubby arms and legs naturally mean slightly more limited poseability, but he looks reassuringly big, chunky and solidly built. Ordered. 

Aqua: The latest incarnation in Bandai’s amazing Pokémon line, and this one has a very substantial advantage. Blastoise only has small stumps as arms and legs and no real neck, so all those nasty joints (remember robo-Charizard from a few weeks ago) are very neatly hidden. What remains is an amazing, beautifully finished, colourful figure that every Poké-loving figure collector should get on their shelf as soon as possible. My God, do I love that matte finish.

Jel: Ugh why didn’t Charizard look this cool (YES, CHARIZARD IS COOL GUYS)? I will note having recently picked up my first D-Arts figure I wasn’t terribly impressed with the quality, so I have a feeling the lighting is really helping this guy out. Still, it’s a pretty cool looking figure and the water cannon effects are particularly great. Price is solid too, so definitely worth picking up.

Lifesong: Blastoise is looking pretty great here, much better than Charizard and his joint neck of doom. I look forward to seeing photos of the inevitable Pokemon battles between the two once they are both released.

Iro: Blastoise is pretty much my favorite Pokemon, so this gets added to the list of figures-I-might-maybe-consider-buying-if-I-had-boatloads-of-spare-cash.

Super Robot Chogokin Grendizer (Grendizer)
Bandai, June, 3670JPY

Zigg: The only thing you need to know about this toy is that I had a choice between the above picture, a shot of Grendizer wielding a sick looking double ended axe scythe thing and a shot of it firing badass lightning out of its forehead. If you need more than that to like this figure, you’re dead inside.

Aqua: Grendizer is a relic from an era where mecha shows only needed one mecha. This one mecha was so amazing, it was pretty much regarded as a god. The mecha became memorable characters, icons in the same vein as Superman or Batman in the US. And now you can get Grendizer in glorious plastic. He’s made my Bandai, and is therefore super well made, super poseable, super equipped with a super big amount of super cool super weapons, and super cheap. Seriously, why the hell would you buy half-naked underaged girls when you can get this? The staff of Colony Drop are changing their trousers right now.

Jel: Pretty hard to argue with rocket arms. I will kindly remind ever one it is 2013 and not 1975 though.

Lifesong: Does he look like a luchador to anyone else? Sure he has giant bull horns on his head but that only amplifies the look in my mind.

Iro: I thought this was Mazinger at first glance but it’s not Mazinger. (Zigg’s Note – it is one of the sequel series however)

Touko Aozaki (Witch on the Holy Night)
Alter, July, 7030JPY

Zigg: This is a good example of a relatively middle-of-the-road figure lifted by Alter’s excellent skill. There’s nothing really wrong with Touko’s character design, but she doesn’t really stand out too much in my eyes, except maybe for that green coat. What does stand out are Alter’s trademark touches – terrific clothing design, impeccable paint detail and a ridiculously high level of fit and finish.  It’s not something I’d ever buy but I can easily see why people would want to, it’s really rather lovely.

Aqua: Type-Moon’s confirmed their status as the Valve of visual novels last year by finally releasing their first proper new franchise since Fate/Stay Night eight years after the latter came out… as the first episode of three. Anyways, this figure proves they are ready to conquer the world once again and who does a better job at making people buy plastic versions of your characters than Alter? Touko Aozaki is the sister of main character Aoko Aozaki — whom Type-Lunatics might remember as the girl who gave Shiki Tohno his glasses to help him deal with his Mystic Eyes of Death Perception which are those magic eyes Ryogi Shiki from Kara No Kyoukai, in which this woman also plays a role even though Kara No Kyoukai was just a prototype of Tsukihime but they are both still canon and oh god make it stop. Sweet figure, by the way, but hey, what did you expect?

Jel: Touko is looking super classy and her lime green coat saves her from being too non-descript. I’m not sure if she’s quite exciting enough to pick up unless you’re a real fan of the character, but it’s more of the fine work we’ve come to expect from Alter.

Lifesong: It’s not easy to do sexy and classy at once but Touko is pulling it off here. This is a testament to the skill of both the designer and Alter for bringing her to figure form.

Iro: Touko has had four separate designs over the years, and this might be the best out of all of them.

Sena Kashiwazaki (Boku wa Tomodachi ga Sukunai NEXT)
Griffon, May, 6220JPY

Zigg:Pretty run-of-the-mill cheesecake stuff. I will note that the hair looks rather lovely and that’s it’s generally a bit happier and less creepy than a lot of figures of this type, but I’ll also note that it’s by Griffon and thus quality may be somewhat  questionable.

Aqua: Haha! Get it? She’s in an Arabic belly dancer outfit because she’s part of a harem! Haha! Brilliant! Best figure ever!

Jel: The more outfits they knock out the closer we get to Rose Warrior Yozora.

Lifesong: Wait, they made a figure of Sena wearing the clothing she gets raped in (Zigg’s Note – WHAT?!)? Actually that doesn’t surprised me at all. Move along.

Kirihime Natsuno (Inu to Hasami wa Tsukaiyo)
Griffon, May, 7280JPY

Zigg: Not familiar with the source material, but I have to say I like the look of this girl.  As previously established I’m a sucker for figures with tons of cloth flying around and the smart trenchcoat/skirt/socks combo here looks good and offers the sculptors plenty of chances to get creative, along with that hair. Like the look of the dog as well – he’s a pretty vicious mutt looking at this.  if I had a complain it’s that the huge amount of black renders the figure a little bland – that’s the fault of the character designers rather than Griffon, but a white or coloured shirt would have improved the balance significantly here. Also, my above comment on Griffon quality.

Aqua: Now here is a franchise I have never even heard of. Apparently, it’s a light novel about a guy who reincarnates into a dog and ends up being taken in by a “sadistic girl with a thing for scissors”, pictured in plasticy form above. The fact that it gets a full-on figure before the anime even starts airing must mean that this show is pretty popular. That probably also means that it will be total crap. Anyways, the first thing that strikes me here is that Kirihime’s head is rather small, while her neck is long, which makes this figure look a bit comical proportion-wise. What is comical as well is the face; it is supposed to look sadistic, while in fact it just looks silly. Oh Griffon, will you ever learn? The sweet longcoat does make this girl stand out, and while the books and the dog push Kirihime away from the center of the stand — where any figure should be — they do fit the theme of the show. For super fans only, and I doubt Inu to Hasami wa Tsukaiyo has any of those at the moment.

Jel: I really love the design of this character, with the long elaborate coat and the red on black highlights. The face looks just a bit off, with her mouth probably being wider than it needs to be. I’m assuming if I knew anything about the series I would appreciate the dog and the books. Looks solid overall but I hope she becomes popular enough for one of the better companies to pick her up.

Lifesong: Griffon sure jumped on this one quickly. I like the design and it’s a neat twist to see the protagonist in the figure.. even if he is a dog. Griffon figures rarely translate well into photos so I am impressed to see that this one has. The worst part of this figure is knowing that she will almost certainly come with one of Griffon’s ugly signature name plate bases.

Ayase Aragaki Thanatos Ver (Oreimo)
Kotobukiya, July, 5500JPY

Zigg: WE DID IT GUYS WE FOUND THE WORST FIGURE EVER. Seriously, it’s a perfect storm of unattractive disguise (What’s with that face? That pose?), an unlikable character and a creep factor so high I feel bad for just looking at it. It’s not so much the explicitness – we’ve had way worse in this very feature – as the general ickiness of the whole concept. Cannot dislike this enough.

Aqua: Hey, guys! I know! Let’s take a character in our blatant wish-fulfilment anime who hates anime becaue it is creepy, and force her to dress up as a creepy character from a creepy anime! Brilliant! All hail the otaku master race! Cute girls will bend to our will and be immortalized in their shame on our shelves! We have reached the pinnacle of intellect! We are above detrimental normal human traits like shame! We have ascended hypocritical morality and consciousness! We are the apex predators! How dare you filthy three-dimensional women insult our pantheon? Our religion! This is how you will end up! Humiliated and dressed up in this erotic outfit, forever in our grubby hands and forced to do our bidding! And I bet you secretly even like it too!

Jel: Oh come on guys we’ve had WAY worse things on this very page, it’s not like it’s particularly shocking. Still, the implications of her outfit are pretty much right in line with everything Aqua just said. I can understand there’s supposed to be a certain level of meta humor to it all, but in the end you’re still buying a scantily embarrassed/frightened girl with a snake tentacle wrapped around her crotch. If you must have your Oreimo meta humor, pick up the Meruru Nendoroid and her clever stand instead.

Lifesong: I can’t really say that I’m surprised to see a figure like this. If anything it’s probably surprising that this character didn’t have a figure like this already considering her entire appeal is summed up by how much she hates this stuff and yet is forced to deal with it anyway. Kotobukiya have nailed the look but I can’t help but wonder who would be willing to display this on their shelf. And really if you want a figure in tentacles.. Native nailed that look ages ago (EXTREMELY NSFW)