All Your Monies: May 27th


Hello, and welcome to All Your Monies, where The Glorio Blog’s resident toy and figure collecting crew (and Aquagaze) will run down the last week’s new preorders, turning a loving or scathing eye over what’s been put out for you to spend your hard earned cash on. Zigg is on vacation and I can’t find Jel anywhere so it looks like it falls on me to take care of things. Lots of pretty figures, and Sakura, are all pining for your money this week. One of them is also nekkid.

Asuna Titania Version (Sword Art Online)
Griffon, July, 9,990 JPY


Timmy: Wow, this is much better then the last Asuna Griffon brought to the party and at that crazy price they seem to know it too. I have nothing but nice things to say about the figure itself. I really wish this was GSC or Alter making this though as I can’t help but worry the final product won’t look nearly as good, not to mention Griffon’s hideous black bases.

Aqua: As far as I know, not even people who actually liked Sword Art Online have particularly fond memories of this outfit, but that certainly did not stop Griffon from having another go at Asuna. As is so often the case, though, it’s the face that ruins their efforts. This cold, emotionless expression certainly does not help to forget the very questionable context in which this version of Asuna was relevant. Nevertheless, the fabric is well crafted, though it tends to get a bit bombastically baroque around her feet there. A fairly fair fairy for a fairly fearsome fare.

Iro:  Just in case you needed a (expensive) damsel-in-distress figure to live out your MMO fantasy! I guess the folds in the fabric look nice, even though her face is kind of flat.

Lifesong: Asuna is looking pretty good for Griffon, better than their last attempt. Sadly I am not that fond of this outfit, if only because of the way Asuna is treated while she wears it.

Kyubei Yagyu (Gintama)
Alpha Omega (Alter X MegaHouse), October, 6,950 JPY


Timmy: I love my kimono clad Momohime and while Kyubei here isn’t nearly as colorful, when I found her to be the deal of the day at Crunchyroll for 55 bucks I couldn’t help but pull the trigger. She is lovely and I do really love having the options to change the pose and expression. I just hope the quality Alter is known for comes through on these co-produced figures.

Aqua: Hey, co-production is a thing in the anime figurine industry as well. For a sweet discount price, Gintama fans can get their hand on Kyubei Yagyu, who aside from a nominal portmanteau of famous samurai Yaygu Jubei Mitsuyoshi and a certain contract-making feline from another planet, is also usually dressed like a badass male. Of course, no one cares about men or their clothes, so Yagyu gets immortalized in the guise she apparently wears in the rare occasion she does dress like a girl. I like the flower in place of the eye patch, and the swappable arms and faces are a really nice addition, making for two very distinct poses (and personalities).

Iro: All I know about Gintama is that Gintoki was one of the better Laughter type characters in Jump Ultimate Stars.

Lifesong: I know nothing of Gintama, but I like this pose. As far as girls in kimonos go you can do far worse.

Kuroneko One-piece Dress Version (Oreimo)
Alphamax, December, 6,780 JPY


Timmy: I had nice things to say about Kirino a couple weeks ago and now Kuroneko has joined the party, and boy is she lovely.  A nice expressions and a nice pose to go with that lovely dress makes me half tempted to get not only Kuroneko but the both of them myself. Like I said though Oreimo seems a bit saturated in the figure market so it may be worth waiting to see if the price drops.

Aqua: Her hair is too long. You should have known, Alphamax. Kuroneko is one of the few characters who deserves the respect sculptors are supposed to have for the characters they are trying to accurately represent. What’s that dress even supposed to be? Is it underwear? Is it a nightdress? Is it just a set of clothes? What’s that expression even supposed to convey? Embarrassment? Boredom? Annoyance? Everything about this figure is just questionable.

Iro: Isn’t she like 14? Creepy.

Lifesong: This is possibly my favorite Kuroneko figure. Alphamax have done a great job here. The power is in the paint job. The colors are just perfect here.

Kirino / Kuroneko (Oreimo)
Chara-ani, August, 5,700 JPY / 6,520 JPY


Timmy: As I was just saying there sure seems to be a lot of Oreimo figures. Kirino is nothing too special and being just another girl in a bikini in a cutesy non Kirino like pose is not really my cup of tea. Kuroneko is much better though in with that dress and removable hat and the expression matches what I imagine would be on her face upon receiving a random compliment about her garb. Same as the previous Kuroneko in being more than I want to pay though.

Aqua: Have you every tried standing like how Kirino is here? It hurts. She looks like she’s made out of bubblegum in anything she is in, but this one is especially grating. The face is uncannily forced and the hair looks like you can eat it. Never mind the whole “fourteen-year-old in a bikini” thing, of course. As for Kuroneko, the nendoroid version has not been sold out yet, and it is basically the only  figure that has managed to properly encapsulate what she is all about. Then again, could be worse.

Iro: Aren’t they like 14? This is really creepy.

Lifesong: Unlike the Oreimo figure above, these are just… sloppy. Kirino is energetic enough, but these girls both look dead thanks to their pale skin tone. If these were a bit cheaper they might not be a bad purchase, but at 6k it’s an easy pass for me.

Demon Queen (Maoyu)
Kotobukiya, October, 7,580 JPY


Timmy: Those who have come to terms with the giant tumors on her chest will find themselves looking at a very lovely figure of the Demon Queen. The red dress is great, the expression is lovely and the base is a really nice touch. A very nice job by Koto and I find myself quite tempted to add her to my collection.

Aqua: Her again? Certainly, it is a splendid craft and a wonderful pose at such a price, but I cannot take this character design seriously. Please, please make sure this guy never gets any jobs ever again and stop making figures based on this anatomical atrocity.

Iro: Those are bigger than her head! Clearly she is using most of her Demon Magick to keep her balance and relieve back pain.

Lifesong: Ordered her asap. I love this figure and as a fan of the series I couldn’t let this one slip past.

Meiya Mitsurugi (Muv-Luv Alternative)
Kotobukiya, October, 7,390 JPY


Timmy: I must say I love how they camouflaged the stand as part of her hair. Its a very ambitious attempt and the effect is absolutely lovely. The rest of the figure is really nicely polished as well. I just hope the folks at Koto know what they are doing or there will be a lot of broken figures and broken hearts.

Aqua: The idiotic tumour breasts are still fully intact, but Meiya, from the much beloved “main” Muv-Luv visual novels rather than the anime, does stand out as a lot more distinct than her Total Eclipse colleagues. Her Yu-Gi-Oh!esque hairdo and eyes are not out of place in the rest of the design, and I love how the glossy plugsuit looks like actual lycra. The pose is a bit odd, though, somewhere between retro pin-up, lazing around and ready for action, and it doesn’t exactly help that we don’t know how she ended up like this. Is she sitting in an invisible chair or just floating in zero-gravity? Nevertheless, a well made and well priced for fans, and I am fairly certain Meiya has her fair share of those.

Iro: Is her hair supposed to actually be purple in-universe, or is it some other shade that is depicted as purple for the audience? The world may never know.

Lifesong: This is Kotobukiya’s best Muv-Luv figure yet, I think. I hope they are going to make the rest of the Alternative girls.

Sakura Matou Yukata Version (Fate/Stay Night)
FREEing, August, 7,030 JPY


Timmy: Ok, so I know Sakura had a pretty shitty childhood but that doesn’t mean she should have shitty figures as well. The paint just looks unfinished and why on earth would you give her blank, lifeless eyes like that? In the group shot she looks downright miserable. What the hell?

Aqua: A dull, half-finished, lifeless, poorly crafted disaster. I’m starting to think they accidentally sent AmiAmi a prototype.

Iro: The worst heroine in Fate/Stay Night, dick worms not included. Complete with blank stare into the distance and “I just want Senpai to be happy with a girl who isn’t as creepy or desperate as me” facial expression!

Lifesong: No, just no. I wouldn’t put this on my shelf is she were free.

Rikka Himegami
SkyTube, November, 8,540 JPY


Timmy: I do wish Zigg wouldn’t shy away from the NSFW figures so much with this column and since he is gone for the week I decided to be a naughty boy and slip one in. While I am not quite yet to the point of buying nude figures I’ll admit I do very much see the appeal. Rikka looks lovely and the craftsmanship on her is superb. From the way the rope around her legs realistically indents into her skin to her hair and expression, everything is very nicely done.

Aqua: Christ, Timothy, I can forgive the jailbait, jugged demon queens, and tentacle raped damsels in distress, but a Tony Taka girl eating an apple in her birthday suit? To be honest, I appreciate you picked something that could pass as artistic nudity — an aesthetic I have little to nothing against — but the next time Zigg isn’t here, I’m doing All Your Monies myself.

Iro: So why is she hanging out half naked while eating an apple? [Aqua’s note – Might be more common than you think.] Who would take that pose just to eat fruit? For that matter, who is this person anyway?

Lifesong: Tony’s girls always look best when they wear the least. [Aqua’s note – One day I will get you fired, I swear.] Rikka here is no exception.

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