First Look: SUPER HXEROS

Alternative title(s): Dokyuu Hentai HxEros
Manga Adaptation by project No.9
Streaming on Funimation

Premise

Evil bug aliens are stealing all the horniness from humans. No, really. Ordinary high schooler Retto Enjou battles them as part of the superhero team HXEROS, while also trying to handle his man-hating childhood friend.

Zigg’s verdict: Time For Something Different

I’m going to be honest with you guys, it’s becoming hard to write the same bunch of things about all of these trash semi-hentai shows. There has to be a better way to communicate to you, the reader, whether it’s worth your time or not. That’s when a brilliant idea hit me – how about matching this new show to something already established in the genre? If you liked the older show, chances are you’ll like this one too. Sometimes I’m so brilliant I shock even myself. It is with great pride therefore that I proudly present the first ever GLORIO Comparison First Look!

SUPER HXEROS vs Mobile Suit Gundam: Char’s Counterattack

The two shows will go head to head in a number of carefully selected categories. Who will emerge victorious?

Cool Robots

Char’s Counterattack has an extremely large number of cool robots, including Amuro’s ultimate ride, the Fin Funnel sporting RX-93 ν Gundam, Char’s MSN-04 Sazabi with its blaster belt buckle, and the RGZ-91 Re-GZ, an advanced prototype based on the legendary Zeta Gundam. While the mobile suit designs aren’t as intricate as they would later become, there’s still more than enough cool robots to go around.

In contrast, SUPER HXEROS does not have any robots at all. This is especially egregious considering the fact it’s a fairly tired riff on the Super Sentai/Power Rangers formula, which at least gives you the excuse to chuck a great big combining mecha in there somewhere. Surely it would have been a better use of resources than the shitty, barely animated ‘fight’ scenes.

Winner: Mobile Suit Gundam: Char’s Counterattack

Magical Powers

In the world of SUPER HXEROS, you apparently get incredible powers by being really, really horny. Actually the powers aren’t that incredible – they mostly just seem to consist of being able to punch big bugs really hard. They also make your clothes explode, in a delightful throwback to the terrible hentai OVAs of the 90s.

Meanwhile, Char’s Counterattack has Newtypes, the original space magicians. The movie, and indeed the franchise in general, is a little vague on what Newtypes are, who is one, what they can do, why it’s important, how they happen, and various other trifling details. In short, Newtypes are largely magical plot bullshit. It’s still better than horny powers though.

Winner: Mobile Suit Gundam: Char’s Counterattack 

Characters

The characters in SUPER HXEROS are some of the most lifeless, inane cardboard cutouts I’ve ever watched. Nothing comes out of their mouths which isn’t the rankest cliche, they have no personality traits that couldn’t be summarised in 5 seconds, and they mostly exist to say rude things or have the camera shamelessly ogle their assets. Even calling them characters is stretching believability, they’re just walking, talking plot delivery devices.

On the other hand, Char’s Counterattack has Quess and Hathaway.

Draw

Pedophilia

Aside from the industry wide problem of ‘maybe you shouldn’t sexualise teenagers’, SUPER HXEROS has a scene where one of the bug monsters attempts to drain main girl of her horny energy, only to discover she’s too horny, making the bug monster explode from the excess energy. This is already deeply questionable, but what makes it a thousand times worse is that this scene takes place during a flashback in which the characters are very obviously pre-teens. Yeah, I threw up a bit in my mouth just writing that. Disgusting, hateful stuff.

Meanwhile, Char’s Counterattack has the bit where Gyunei calls Char a lolicon, perhaps one of the most unintentionally funny scenes in anime history.

Winner: Mobile Suit Gundam: Char’s Counterattack 

Quattro Vagina

He is briefly in Char’s Counterattack

He is not in SUPER HXEROS at all. What’s the point of making a shitty softcore sex ‘comedy’ if you aren’t going to have the guy called QUATTRO VAGINA in it.

Winner: Mobile Suit Gundam: Char’s Counterattack 

Overall Winner: Mobile Suit Gundam: Char’s Counterattack

In the end it’s a decisive victory. All can say is that if you’re looking for a shitty, problematic, and deeply boring borderline hentai airing this season, you should watch Char’s Counterattack.

No, I know what I said.

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