All Your Monies: November 12th

Hello, and welcome to All Your Monies, where The Glorio Blog’s resident toy and figure collecting crew (and Aquagaze) will run down the last week’s new preorders, turning a loving or scathing eye over what’s been put out for you to spend your hard earned cash on. Zigg is away this week, so in the absence of his refined British dignity we’re getting in as much Touhou, Idolm@ster and Queen’s Blade as we can. Toss in a few other oddities and this may be our most disturbing AYM yet. You have been warned!!!

Minamitsu Murasa (Touhou Project)
Griffon, January 2013, 7000JPY

Still better than mouse girl

Jel: You could file this one under “Zun is definitely running out of ideas”, but at least Murasa is an interesting change of pace from Touhou’s usual vaguely victorian goth-loli character designs. The anchor is certainly a nice touch, but other than that this is not a very exciting figure, nor does it appear to be one of Griffon’s better sculpts. Leave this one for the crazy completionists and move along.

Aqua: That’s a Touhou? Blasphemy! Where’s the wings? Where’s the frilly dress? What is happening? Who are you? What’s that anchor for? Everything I know is wrong! It’s like someone asked Zun to design a Touhou wearing a sailor uniform so he gave them exactly that. How does one Touhou? I don’t know! I like the fancy pants on this one, though. How does she not fall over with that ginormous anchor? How is it even possible to lift an anchor like that? Seriously, assuming she even has the physical power to lift an anchor, how will the laws of physics even allow it to be balanced like that. Oh, Touhou, I will never get you.

Lifesong: Zun took his sailor uniform design very literally here. I think it’s cute myself, but the figure is pretty boring. This is not one of Griffon’s better works.

Timmy: I must admit while not nearly as extravagant as any of the other characters Touhou characters, Murasa here still looks pretty nice. And I think Griffion did a real nice job with what they had to work with. As part of the Touhou line it is pretty bland in comparison but as a stand alone figure I find it quite nice.

Azusa Miura Princess Melody Ver. (THE IDOLM@STER 2)
Megahouse, March 2013, 6610JPY

No, not THAT Azusa

Jel: I don’t know a whole lot about IM@S but I do know Azusa is the oldest member and is an actual adult, so that’s worth mentioning, right? That being said, the Old Hag is wearing some pretty garish clothing more fitting for a teen pop star circa 1989… or a teen J-Pop idol circa 2012. The sculpt is nice, like the creases in her stockings, and there are quite a few pose and hairstyle combinations to choose from. But seriously, my eyes are starting to hurt looking at those colors.

Aqua: It’s not a big secret that I like The iDOLM@STER about as much as I like being tied to a breaking wheel, but for some reason I still know all the 12 idols. Go me. Azusa is the oldest one of the bunch, fitting nicely into the “mature older sister” stereotype, which makes me wonder why she’s even still popular, knowing the Japanese music industry. Har har. Anyways, she now arrives in figure form, wearing a tacky outfit no pop singer with self-respect would want to be found dead in. Her pose is rather boring and her face gives me soulless full-body cosplay vibes. But hey, it’s not that these iM@S figures have to look good to sell, right?

Lifesong: As the only person on this blog that actually watched the anime I should probably say something to defend this design. The outfit is absolutely tacky, and I can’t imagine buying one of the girls without buying the whole set; Idolmaster figures just don’t look so hot on their own. Personally I like the in your face asymmetrical outfits these girls wear. Watching the anime, and playing the game they just kind of grew on me. Not a big fan of the color choices on this one, but I do like the overall design. Still an easy pass for me as I have not been buying into this set. I kind of wish I had, but when you consider the price of the entire cast in figure form that adds up to something intimidating pretty quickly.

Timmy: Wrong Life, I watched and enjoyed this as well. Azusa is pretty lovely here along with the rest of the line but they all are a bit too pink for my taste.

Excellent Model Alicia (Queen’s Blade Grimoire)
Megahouse, March 2013, 6840JPY

or "Arisia" if you are so inclined

Jel: What’s this? A Queen’s Blade figure that doesn’t make me decry the fall of humanity (more on that later)? All things considered she does have a pretty cool, comparitively tame outfit (although it is castoff) and I love the details on the sword. Not sure what that little energy ball thing is in her off hand, but OK, why not? A fine addition to your busty lady warrior collection if that’s your thing.

Aqua: You sure you got your sources, right, Jel? This is a Queen’s Blade figure? What is this sorcery? I have to congratulate Megahouse on the wonderful sculpting of her Touhou-esque frills and elegant sword. I love the perky ribbon, too. Even her facial expression doesn’t look as if she’s about to face off with a tentacle abomination all to eager to make ample use of her cast-off features. Or does she? Hey, people need at least one reason to buy a Queen’s Blade figure. Well, a reason that is not… tits. I give up.

Lifesong: If there is one thing Queen’s Blade occasionally gets right it’s the character designs. This one looks pretty awesome without being too trashy. It is a shame, but the anime keeps me from wanting to buy characters of this brand.

Timmy: This is actually really nice and its not too fanservicy either. Great sculpt, great paint, and great character design in general. How very tempting.

 

Cybernetic Girl HRP-4C Mimu (SCIENCE!)
Wave, February 2013, 2180JPY

Will totally not kill you in your sleep

Jel: Watch this video and tell me if you still want this thing in your house. I should also mention this is a model kit, so just like any other robot girl you will have to assemble it yourself before it will pretend to love you.

Aqua: This… thing might actually be fun to assemble, sadly enough the end result is so appalling and horrifying you’ll gain considerably more enjoyment out of hearing it down. It has splendid poseability, but this comes at the cost of her hands. By the way, who even wants to pose this abomination? How did this thing even pass quality control? Does Wave even have quality control? Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? There is only one sensible thing with this monstrosity. EXTERMINATE!

Lifesong: WUT

Timmy: Ok, this is going downhill fast. I don’t think you can find anything much more hideous then this.

Hatsuho Kazami (Please Teacher!)
A+, December 2012, 25800JPY

You could probably buy actual lingerie for this thing

Jel: How could we let this post go by without covering this mega MILF monstrosity? At 1/2.5 scale, this figure is clocking in at over TWO FEET TALL. That is just… terrifying, although I have to say I’m impressed with the sculpt for a figure so large. Between the size and the fact that it is a polyresin figure, you may have to take out a loan to purchase this. I’m sure there’s some lonely, well-off gentlemen who would buy this, but not too many.

Aqua: The lower you scroll, the more horrifying it gets! My eyes! My brain! My sanity! Jel, you are never doing All Your Monies again. EVER.

Lifesong: This is actually a fairly accurate rendition of this character in all her terrifying MILF glory. Accurate, but still awful. This is one character I am not letting anywhere near my collection.

Timmy: I, uh,  stand corrected.

.

WARNING! NOT SAFE FOR WORK LIFE!

Oh God.

Hi, if you can read this then you are awesome.

But not really.

Love, Aqua

Touki Ranbu Cattleya (Queen’s Blade)
Q-six, February 2013, 13930JPY

I have lost all hope

Jel: Speaking of monstrosit*HURK* I… think I just threw up a little. Making fun of this figure would be too easy at this point, as Cattleya is so far removed from humanity I… just don’t understand. It goes without saying this is also totally castoff-able, and there is even a limited edition second color option available. HUMANITY HAS DECLINED!

Aqua: 
Lifesong: Eternal proof that Dragonzigg was out of town for this week. Those things are hideous. I get seriously confused every time I see this character design. Is she supposed to be hilarious? I can’t help, but feel like she must be catering to some fatty fetish because anyway I look at this girl all I see is lots of nasty fleshy fat.

Timmy: AHHHHH

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