Hello, and welcome to All Your Monies, where The Glorio Blog’s resident toy and figure collecting crew (and Iro) will run down the last week’s new pre-orders, turning a loving or scathing all-seeing eye over what’s been put out for you to spend your hard-earned cash on. This week we’ve got knights, goggleheads, artists, post apocalyptic survivors, and a dog designed by a man who can’t draw dogs.

Nendoroid Meta Knight (Kirby’s Dream Land)
Good Smile Company, March 2017, ¥4,630

Zigg: Kind of surprised to see Meta Knight rather than a super-sized King Dedede, but he’s very much a welcome addition. I’ve always though the character’s basic design was incredibly good, and about as badass as you could make a small blue blob look, and as ever GSC have done an exemplary job bringing all that charm and panache into the 3D space. I hear the complaint that he’s a little accessory light, but the base figure is so beautifully rendered it’s tough to be too bitter about that.

Iro: Who better to go with the incredible Kirby nendoroid than Meta Knight? The answer to that is Bandanna Waddle Dee, of course, but we can settle for number two. Meta Knight inherently has more stuff attached to him than ol’ Kirbs, so this lacks the brilliance in simplicity of our favorite pink puffball, but the sword-slash effect is prrretty good. I just demand a cutesy maskless face plate; make it happen, GSC.

Jel: I guess Meta Knight is making up for having less accessories than Kirby with sheer technical quality? I’m loving the big cape and the shiny metallic paint. The sword slash is a nice touch too, but I can’t help but think of him as a really, really nice accessory for the brilliant Kirby nendo. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, I’m assuming if you buy one you will want both.

Aqua: The worst Super Smash Bros. character not named ‘King Dedede’ now has his own nendoroid, though in this case, I suppose you could say it’s more like a scale, really. With Meta Knight’s simple design, there isn’t much you can do to screw up translating him into three dimensions; so Good Smile’s take looks about as well (or rather suitably unimpressive) as you’d expect. Really the only way in which nendoroids can dissappoint at this point are a lack of accessories, and with wings and sword at the ready, Meta Knight is equipped with more than enough to make a case for himself.

Minissimo Iggy (JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders)
Di Molto Bene, December, ¥4,980

Zigg: This is very cute (or rather about as cute as Iggy’s ugly-ass design can get) and I bet it makes a terrific companion to Di Molto Bene’s line of poseable JoJo figures. The included faces are great too and the poseability seems decent enough considering the limits they’re working within. The real problem, as with so many figures that pop up on here, is the price. At half the cost he’d be an amazing little throw in if you were into the line, as it is he’s jsut way too much to justify as even a joke purchase.

Iro: This sure looks like Iggy. I’m more amused that Di Molto Bene has a line called “Minissimo”.

Jel: Are they really asking 5000 yen for this? If it was a bit cheaper you could go totally meta and buy one just to brutally smash it to pieces.

Aqua: Seeing a dog with a man’s head just makes me think of some awful KoRn music video I once saw that made me think ‘KoRn still exist?’. That was ten years ago, and KoRn are still a thing.

Ema Yasuhara (Shirobako)
Alter, February 2017, ¥11,800

Zigg: Shirobako is beloved among the Glorio staff, but I’ve not seen it, so all I can go on is the design of this figure, which appears to be a perfectly lovely figure of a girl wearing weird sleeve protectors, an altogether too short skirt, and holding a really rather lovingly detailed pencil. It’s Alter’s involvement which raises this above the rank and file, seeing as it’s still a guarantee of exceptional quality and detail.

Iro: I haven’t seen Shirobako, but I know it was our #1 anime of 2015, and I know this figure looks pretty nice. It’s about as tasteful as a figure of a cute girl wearing a short skirt could possibly be these days, and there’s strong detail work in the seams and wrinkles of the clothes. Alter probably deserves their reputation.

Jel: This is a lovely, subtle figure that really has me wanting to see the entire line. It might be a little boring if you don’t know Shirobako, but I think she looks nice regardless. Fans should definitely check out the full image gallery, they gave her nice little accessory featuring a few sketches that seem like an appropriate choice. Now bring on Miyamori and the donuts!

Aqua: Needs more crippling self-doubt issues to be truly representative of the character, but that gripe aside, Alter honour last year’s best anime with all the attention for detail it deserves. A refreshing, well-crafted pose, adorable go-getter facial expression and the inclusion of those wacky sleeves make Ema a perfect plastic companion for any aspiring artist’s desk.

Rider (Fate/Grand Order)
Pulchra, January 2017, ¥14,630 

Zigg: What is going on with the pose here? Is she running, diving, or jsut about to trip over in an appropriately epic manner? Aside from that, I’m getting real tired of FGO‘s character design technique – put a girl in a period appropriate costume then tear almost all of it off except for the essentials of modesty. Easy pass.

Iro: I’d say Ushiwakamaru/Yoshitsune here is one of the worst designs in F/GO, but they’ve added so many terrible ones since that this almost seems tame. It’s still pretty shitty by any normal standard, though.

Jel: This is such a train wreck of design choices that I don’t even feel like looking up which Rider this is supposed to be. Her outfit, if there is enough skin covered to call it that, looks like a grab bag of mismatched samurai armor parts glued on to half her body. The pose is also pretty weird. I guess she’s supposed to be charging into battle but it looks like she tripped and is falling sideways. Pass.

Aqua: Is this supposed to be the heroic spirit of Lady Godiva? I mean, who else is famous for riding things and for only barely covering her nipples when doing so? Anyway, she should probably get off that ice rink before she hurts herself.

figma Conan (Future Boy Conan)
Max Factory, February 2017, ¥4,630

Zigg: The other are all bitter haters for not liking Conan, who’s as cute as a button and a really good representation of a classic design. It’s always great to me when characters from older shows get figures and the bonus faces are absolutely perfect too. That said, having only the spear as an accessory is catastrophic, and the price of figmas continues to creep uncomfortably upward.

Iro: Seems like a standard figma from a classic series to me. We’re in a bit of a sad state if that spear is the only accessory, though.

Jel: I’m not really sure what else they could have done with this but as is it’s just super bland. Part of it is the monochromatic color scheme, the one color being particularly dull. It’s also continuing the worrying trend of figmas coming with next to nothing. I guess this one at least has 3 faces? I guess the holding the harpoon with this toes thing is cute? Yeah, I’m really stretching for positives here.

Aqua: “The ocean says 5000 yen for a puke-coloured figma with no accessories is totally worth it! Isn’t that right, ocean? … The ocean says yes.”

G.E.M. Zero (Code Geass R2)
Megahouse, January 2017, ¥12,990 (Exclusive, Re-release)

Zigg: I own the original version of this figure (although I lost the helmet long ago) and can confirm its a smart and good looking figure that is absolutely not worth almost thirteen thousand yen. In addition it looks like that bonus Suzaku head is just a mold reuse from an old Alpha X Omega figure which is…certainly one way to cut your costs I suppose.

Iro: That is sure a lot of money for a character from a nearly-ten-year-old show. The additional head accessory is a pretty neat touch, though.

Jel: This is still a good figure but something tells me with the 10th anniversary of Code Geass coming up we may be seeing some more merchandise. Avoid looking him in the eye and wait to see if a better option pops.

Aqua: Aside from the music industry, the plastic anime people industry is probably the only business that attempts to get away with charging more for a re-release than what the original probably cost. And with CD’s, at least you get a bunch of crappy bonus material. Why can’t this one come with six rough demos and a remix featuring a rap verse by Jay-Z?

G.E.M. Daisuke Motomiya & V-Mon/Takato Matsuda & Guilmon (Digimon Adventure 02/Digimon Tamers)
Megahouse, January 2017, ¥8,500 each (Exclusive)

Zigg: These are both super cute. Granted, Daisuke/Davis is a piece of shit but the great pose alongside Veemon and the cheeky face make him look pretty great in this figure. Meanwhile, Takato and Guilmon are jsut too adorable for words, though the pose does somewhat limit how they can be arranged alongside any other members of the collection. Great stuff but as ever those prices are just poison.

Iro: As always, Davis can fuck right off, but I am all about that Takato and Guilmon. TA-KA-TO! WAHHHH! GU-IL-MON!

Jel: So is this the good Digimon or the bad Digimon? I can’t keep up with you kids. Out of context these are pretty cute, I particularly like the poses which bring a lot of character to the figures. Those exclusive prices though… really hittin’ that nostalgia hard.

Aqua: Davis drools, Takato rules. Needs more bread and existential horror, though.