Recap: Despite having reeled in a manager, Haruka, Makoto and Nagisa soon realize that in order to swim relay, they will need a proper fourth member. Nagisa’s eye quickly falls on the bespectacled athletics ace Rei Ryugazaki, for no other reason than that he has a girly name. I’m starting to spot some sort of pattern here…

Aqua’s thoughts: With Purple Ranger Rei, the Swimbro Sentai is now complete. As with the rest of the cast, his cool pretty boy exterior soon reveals a rather dorky side, though his strange fixation on the “beauty” of certain sports is a bit odd. I understand how he is supposed to embody the analytical approach, but this scientific ramblings make little to no sense, and I fail to see any real difference between his supposedly calculated athleticism and Haruka’s superior “free” style. For the first time in a while, I feel Kyoto Animation actually failed to deliver on making a stock plot line into something worthwhile, and despite the engaging directing, it did result in some awkward moments amongst the plethora of successful jokes. It is strange, because they usually manage to craft some neatly realistic dialogue despite their completely implausible characters.

Ever noticed how Haruka has only one facial expression?

That is why I am starting to think that Kyoto Animation actually fully realizes that no human being acts the way their characters do. Haruka’s bizarre obsession with swimming is rivaled in sheer single-mindedness only by Yui Hirasawa’s passionate love affair with patisserie; Nagisa would have gotten socked in the face over and over for his frequent, seemingly innocent horndog quips, and if you can give me proof you have actually ever met a person who talks about the “beauty” of sports and runs calculations in his head before taking leaps like Rei does, I’ll give you a penny. Swimming is serious business, ladies and gentlemen, and if there is one trope Kyoto Animation loves to shove down your throat, it is characters treating something trifling like the fate of the world depends on it. When are these guys making a children’s card game anime?

Nevertheless, I can easily allow them to get away with this because they are just so darn good at it. What the writing lacks in credibility, it makes up for in terms of sheer entertainment value. Dialogue flows natural as usual, with frequent jokes, remarks and references to earlier events. Debutante director Hiroko Utsumi never messes around or drags scenes out for too long, resulting in the characters never hanging onto one location or conversation for too long. The frenetic camera work makes for some exceptional framing — and a screencapping nightmare. After the splendid presentation of Hyouka, I noticed that Kyoto Animation’s directing has often gone a bit under appreciated, and some fresh talent is exactly what the studio needs to play its cards out. Besides, who else could be more suited to ramp the female gaze up to eleven than an actual woman at the helm?

Only. One. Facial. Expression.

Speaking of female gaze, I love how Gou is essentially the token swooning pervert in this anime. Sure, she is a blatant audience proxy, but along with Miss Ama, she is a great personality who neatly balances out the cast. In her character lurks the fact that the writers made no effort in hiding what this show is all about, but it is done in such a happy-go-lucky way I have a hard time finding anything wrong with it. Free! is wish fulfillment of the same sort as the one Pathetic Otaku Oriented Titillation™ (henceforth to be referred to as POOT™) anime thrive on, but the only people it will offend are frightened misogynists and homophobes. Once again, Free! is much more welcoming towards a periphery demographic than most male-oriented anime. Gou’s covert lecherousness is far from the only trait the young manager has going on, and the same can be said for the swimbros and their tendency to walk around with their tops off and gaze longingly at each other. Free!‘s fanservice never gets in the way of characterization, and while I would rather see the wish fulfillment trope being destroyed and dragged through the mud altogether (hello, Flowers of Evil), inverting and downplaying it is at least a step in the right direction.

Random observations

• Yes, I know Rei has blue hair, but his “official” colour according to the promotional materials is purple, like his eyes. That makes him the Purple Ranger!
• Kyoto Animation sure love their creepy mascots.
• I suspect a giant increase in speedo sales in the nearby future.
• How does Rei change out of his uniform and into his tracksuit after getting off the train?
• Glad to see Free! has mastered the art of the blatantly unsubtle title drop.
• It looks like poor Nitorin never got to live the life he wanted to, dyed his hair and joined the swim club at his all-male high school. I hope that is not the actual ending to Wandering Son.

“Vanishment… This world!”

Iro’s Thoughts: At this point it seems patently obvious the main thing Swimming Dudes has going for it is the fact that all of these dumb ditzy people all have dicks instead of vaginas. That’s the gimmick. Otherwise it would be another lame, forgettable girls-doing-stuff show. Also Gou would be a ludicrous pervert and the show would involve way more punching him in the face because he’s leering at the girls. It’s still kinda creepy even in proper context of a girl leering at muscular dudes.

Is this bad? Not really, no. Shaking up something so basic is arguably a cheap trick, but in anime it’s something that hasn’t really been done outside of fan works and such (like that Genderflip of Haruhi Suzumiya thing that was so popular a while ago). The downside is that it makes everything seem really weird because we have a bunch of dudes who may as well be girls, but I guess that’s the price you pay for novelty. Still, I am unconvinced Swimming Dudes is some sort of big commentary on the moeblob-saturated industry. It seems way more likely to me that they wanted to draw a bunch of hot guys, instead.