All Your Monies: March 3rd 2014

Hello, and welcome to All Your Monies, where The Glorio Blog’s resident toy and figure collecting crew (and Aquagaze) will run down the last week’s new pre-orders, turning a loving or scathing eye over what’s been put out for you to spend your hard earned cash on. This week it’s a pretty poor showing after last week’s bumper crop. Also beware as below are SPOILERS for Puella Magi Madoka Magica; Rebellion.

Shimakaze (Kantai Collection)
Good Smile Company, September, ¥12,070


Zigg: I haven’t quite reached the stage where I’m sick of Shimakaze yet, but oh boy we’re getting close. As with the figma I’m torn between liking some parts of her design (the cool fin-feet, the striped socks, Rensohou-chan) but generally hating the whole blatantly stripperiffic thing they’ve got going. She must be in serious pain if she’s tugging that thong so hard, her face is…something and the pose is distasteful to say the least. What really sinks this though is the price, which is beyond mad.

Jel: I guess this is one of the more uhhh…. interesting Shimakaze figures when you consider her pose and the fact that her little robot gun things practically get equal billing. I’m getting pretty tired of seeing her though, so if we’re going to get more KanColle I’d like to start seeing more of the other girls soon.

Aqua: I was already tired of Kantai Collection before it became an All Your Monies staple, so I’m fairly certain you know my opinion on Shimakaze’s design by now. Good Smile Company isn’t usually guilty of making particularly unsettling figures, but the rather explicit attention drawn to Shimakaze’s intensely uncomfortable looking thong just ruins any appeal this figure might have. What is that face even trying to express? AmiAmi claims it to be a “mischievous” pose, but really, all I see is discomfort with having a G-string running up between her buttocks. The cannons are cute, but they cannot justify the frankly ridiculous price tag. I don’t mind if you like to play Kantai Collection, but I’d think twice about buying this figure.

Marlin: Well… uhhh that certainly is something. I’m not sure what’s appealing about having a girl stretch a thong so tight it looks like she’d be digging it out for days. The face isn’t bad but the pose is just pandering and horrible. If it was just the little robots by themselves I actually might like it, they kinda have a Danbo vibe to them with the big heads and stocky bodies.

The Seven Deadly Sins – Satan (Original)
Orchid Seed, February 2015(!), ¥10,820


Zigg: This was only in here for Lifesong and Timmy and since they’re absent this week I can say it’s immaculately crafted and painted and about the very last thing I’d want to buy or display.

Jel: I wonder if she’s weak against wind?

Aqua: Ever wondered “Hmm, you know what my room needs? A statuette of Satan. With breasts.” Yeah, sorry, but I won’t ever take “erotic” anime designs seriously if they keep drawing breasts like gravity-defying tumours dangling from a chest with what frankly look like pulsating ulcers on top of them. At the very least, I have to give them credit for making such a baroque, detailed figure of a lady who isn’t wearing any clothes. Nice stand too, but really, lady, are you sure your nipples aren’t inflamed or anything? I’d go see a doctor if I were you.

Marlin: From what I remember all of the Seven Deadly Sins are castoffable but that hardly even seems necessary with how little clothes they gave Satan to work with here. The design itself is simply baffling. What’s with the Talaria at her feet? Hermes this ain’t. Why does that belt look like its being held up by a piece of gum stuck in the middle? The only thing I really like is the huge flowing cape, but its not enough to make of the rest of it seem like a hot mess.

Mika Jougasaki Charisma Girl ver. (The iDOLM@STER Cinderella Girls)
Phat! Company, August, ¥10,200


Zigg: I actually really like this, mostly because I dig the super trashy look they’ve gone with. The big pink heart, the ridiculous boots the badges and the big I ♡ MIKA text are all the exact kind of deliciously tacky design I can get behind. It helps that Phat seem to have their paint and detailing well up to scratch and that bug eyed crazy look really suits the setup. A surprise hit

Jel: I think it’s safe to say the Idolm@ster B-squad has outdone their main line counterparts in the figure department. This particular figure is a super gaudy monstrosity I would never want on my shelf but I can’t deny it’s fun to look at. I also feel like I might be missing some kind of in-joke that would make this great if I knew or cared about the source at all. Special props to the weird argyle pattern thing she has painted on her arm, just one more strange attention grabbing detail on a very interesting figure.

Aqua: A bit tacky, but I can get into bases like that. The loud colours and sparkles don’t go very well together with Mika’s punkier design, however. Yet at least you’re getting your money’s worth, with all the neat little details here. I like the mischievous expression on Mika’s face, and despite her outfit being rather revealing, the figure gives her an air of confidence and playfulness rather than playing her sex appeal for cringeworthy objectification. It’s a bit too busy for my taste, but a decent effort nonetheless.

Marlin: This is quite the production. While the outfit itself is a bit too skeevy for my tastes, my tastes have been patently much more strict than my cohorts. I do like the heart base she rests on, it looks like she’s about to start an idol show.

Kaoru Niimi (Space Battleship Yamato 2099)
Alpha Omega, July, ¥8,970


Zigg: It’s bland. I’m sure it’s really well made and the colour is lovely, but the blatantness of the ‘only here for the butt shot’ pose is evident to behold, and there’s not really much else here to go for. Just not really my thing.

Jel: Hot glasses girl? Check. And with that the main female cast of Yamato is complete. Personally I think Kaoru’s design is a little too monochromatic compared to the other girls but the cool color and pose capture her personality well. I particularly like the alternate pose where she adjusts her glasses and the ipad and mecha railing thing are nice touches as well. Basically, another fine entry in the Yamato girls series.

Aqua: What is it with these Space Battleship Yamato figures and butts? Really, guys, I know plugsuits are sexy, but I’m pretty certain a beloved forty-year old anime classic doesn’t need curves to sell. Anyways, butts aside, I really liked the strong designs of all previous Yamato figures, and as usual, I really appreciate how Kaoru also comes with exchangeable parts to occasionally shake up her pose. The plugsuit looks formidable as usual, though I have to say I’m not very fond of the distinct “secretary porn” vibes I’m getting rom this. The face and pose really don’t help.

Gee: As the original Yamato 2199 proponent on the blog, I figure I should comment on this. While I was never a huge fan of Kaoru like some, this figure does get her design pretty accurately and I think the monochromatic scheme works in her favor. That said, compared to the likes of Akira or Melda, she’s definitely not as visually striking. And of course, there’s the pose. Not that the others weren’t suggestive or anything, but Kaoru’s seems to take it to the next level. Still, if you’re a fan of the character, this is likely the nicest figure of her you’re going to get. The alternate poses are also a nice bonus.

Marlin: This seems way lower quality than the other figures that have been in this Yamato 2199 line. I know the figure makes it painfully obvious you’re supposed to be focused on the ass, but it doesn’t excuse a pretty sloppy looking face. I’ve always felt her blue color she rocks was the worst in the cast for… showing off her assets and I think that shows here.

Nendoroid Nagisa Momoe (Puella Magi Madoka Magica)
Good Smile Company, June, ¥3,350


Zigg: Those new Madoka movies definitely weren’t an exercise in cynical franchise milking. nope. No sir-ee. And this is a crappy design regardless.

Jel: Want to know why they made more Madoka movies? THIS IS WHY. Cynicism aside this is a very cute and colorful nendoroid but Nagisa’s design doesn’t hold a candle to the any of the girls in the original cast. I’m sure the alternate face will be fun to swap and who doesn’t want nendoroid scale cheese, but other than that I have zero interest in this.

Aqua: Oh hey guys, spoilers, in case you have been living under a rock for the past year and are as thick as a brick. Witness here the cynical cash-in original character in its most splendid incarnation, evidently quickly latched on to by the good people over at Good Smile Company. Even as a Nenoroid, Nagisa stands out like a sore thumb amongst the usually very sleek looking Madoka crew, however. She simply looks stupid and this figure really doesn’t do her design any favours. Well, I guess she at least comes with a piece of cheese. Yay?

Marlin: God, this girl was by far the worst part of those movies. If you’re going to make a shameless cashgrab character, can’t you at least let her be relevant to the plot. Even Homura didn’t understand why she was there, and every time she’s on screen the most poignant thing she ever says is “I’M JUST IN THIS FOR THE CHEESE!” I am not kidding. I suppose the mini-Charlottes are kind of cool but just this character’s very existence brings back bad memories, and buying this only proves that you can sucker people into buying anything if you link it with a franchise. Don’t let them win.


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