Random Manga Theatre 31: Elementary School Girl Introduction

Hit the “Random” button and see what comes up! In this feature, we take a look at whatever manga the Random Number God decides to throw at us and find out if it’s worth your time.

This time: Joshishougakusei Hajimemashita, by Gyuunyuu Nomio

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Hoo boy.

Look, I do this feature mainly because occasionally we do find some hidden gems via the random button. One Punch Man is legitimately entertaining. Crimsons is hilariously awesome. Even the first post, Banana no Nana, has its place for a few laughs. But I imagine some of you (yeah, out of both of you who actually read this regularly) are all in it just to watch me suffer through the ocean of shit I have to swim through to get to the good stuff. You thought some of the stuff we’ve gone through before was bad? Well, it seems we’ve found something that matches Tonari no Raenzel and Super Sadistic Sisters in the “OH DEAR GOD END MY LIFE NOW” category. I’ve hit the Bermuda Triangle of shit here – don’t be surprised if I vanish mysteriously and never return.

Anyway, we start off with your average 30-year old virgin lolicon salaryman chilling on a bench, sick of work and life. But hey, he sees a couple of elementary schoolers spraying water on each other (for some reason??) and thinks to himself how awesome it would be if he was a little girl. Some little fairy… thing (which honestly just looks like the mangaka had no ideas on what creature to draw and so just ripped off Pokemon) decides to grant his wish, so he suddenly blacks out and wakes up to find himself transmogrified into a little girl.

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Normally I’d just stop there, but at the urging of the rest of the Glorio crew (I won’t forget this you bastards), I continued. Our protagonist doesn’t just morph into a little girl, he somehow gets plopped right into the life of a little girl, complete with little girl lesbian friends who want to sit on each other’s little girl laps and rub each other’s nonexistent little girl boobs. You know, normal elementary school stuff!

And so they go to the lingerie shop to buy each other bras, because all elementary school girls obviously need bras. But wait! Our hero’s panties have mysteriously vanished! She’s a little girl running around with no panties, so she has to ask her little lesbian friend for her panties, which she’s perfectly happy to give, because that’s what all lesbians do, right? Turns out the little Pokemon took his/her panties to track him down via scent, which is important because the transformation requires “dream power” to continue functioning. But where does “dream power” come from?

Used panties. Yeah. I’m done.

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Verdict: CLEANSE WITH THE HOLY FLAMES OF TEN THOUSAND SUNS
Long story short, this is a running contender for the worst thing I’ve ever read ever. I want to find the mangaka who thought this was a good idea, and every person who was okay with this being published in any format, and I want to punch them all in the faces repeatedly. And by “punch”, I mean “smash with a sledgehammer”.

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