Hello, and welcome to All Your Monies, where The Glorio Blog’s resident toy and figure collecting crew (and Iro) will run down the last week’s new pre-orders, turning a loving or scathing all-seeing eye over what’s been put out for you to spend your hard-earned cash on. This week, AYM returns after a lengthy absence! We’ve got witches, robots, DINOSAURS and lots more!

Nendoroid Atsuko Kagari (Little Witch Academia)
Good Smile Company, September, ¥4,500

Zigg: Akko is as cute as a button to begin with, which always helps when it comes to Nendoroids. The broom and the wand are neat but expected accessories, but the rabbit ears and bonkers alternate expressions are the real stars here. The price is solid for what you’re getting so it’s a definite thumbs up. I jsut hope they produce Lottie and Sucy quickly to go along with her.

Aqua: The most, ahem, animated character of the season is finally here in Nendo form, and what’s not the love? Well, the lack of Shiny Rod’s cool bow form, maybe, but otherwise, this is all the Akko you could ask for (which I suppose to be a fairly modest amount of Akko). With a wand, a broom and three hilariously over-the-top facial expressions, you can now replicate all of Akko’s greatest moments from the show, such as the one where she screws up and makes a huge mess and… errm… Anyway, it’s a Nendoroid. Nendoroids are good. Like, we don’t need to spell this out for you, right?

Iro: Cute! Little Witch Academia is a natural fit for Nendoroids, and this comes with a handful of great goofy expressions as well as the Shiny Rod. I mean, it’s pretty standard as far as Nendos go, but there’s nothing wrong with that. This is a good thing.

4inch-nel Mega Man Volnutt (Mega Man Legends)
Sentinel, July, ¥4,968

Zigg: I can’t really claim to be a huge Mega Man fan, but I know that Legends is dearly loved by many so it’s cool they’re finally producing a figure of the only Mega Man who appears to actually have a personality. The one thing I can claim to be is a past customer of Sentinel, and their reputation for excellent work is well deserved. This looks to be another fine sculpt and it’s super neat that Sentinel have been gradually working their way through the various Mega Men to produce a pretty much comprehensive range.

Aqua: Mega Man Walnut Volnutt has always looked a bit too much like a regular human head on top of a late eighties polygon nightmare body for my taste. The plus side to such a blocky design, however, is that it survives the transition into posable figure with relative ease. It’s not often you can say a figure looks like the character come to life in three dimensions, but in all honesty, this guy only possibly look any better if they’d coated him in stainless steel. That would’ve done a number on that price, though, which might already be an issue once you realise this thing is no inch taller than a Nendoroid.

Iro: Being a robot and all, Mega Man sidesteps the problem with gross looking joints on posable figures, and looks great while doing it. Legends was never a good-looking game, but Volnutt’s colorful shading and expressive anime face are faithfully recreated here, bizarre vertical irises and everything. If I was rolling in cash, I’d pick up this and the MegaMan.EXE in a heartbeat, but our poor buddy here is going to be stuck on the moon for the rest of time.

ARTFX J Edward Elric (Fullmetal Alchemist)
Kotobukiya, August, ¥9,504

Zigg: I really like the swirling jacket-cum-cape off the arm here, which once again illustrates Kotobukiya’s skill at interesting cloth, but otherwise this is kind of bland surprisingly. Ed’s design is so generically shonen that you really need to put some zip into it to look interesting, and this doesn’t really do that. The utterly flat facial expression doesn’t help that either. Disappointing.

Aqua: Not really feeling it. Kotobukiya’s craftsmanship is indubitable at this point, but the pose seems a bit too much like a freeze frame to work as a cool snapshot carrying the character’s essence. The coat is the main offender here, dangling off Ed’s arm like no piece of cloth ever would and making it look like he’s transforming his arm into some kind of swirling flamestorm as opposed to whatever the heck he is supposed to be doing. Besides, this figure sure succeeds at reminding me how lame Ed looks without his cool robe. Don’t you have a millionaire to go serve somewhere, shorty?

Iro: This is… inoffensive, I guess. It’s not particularly bad, but also not very interesting. Anyone besides the hardest of the hardcore FMA fans need not apply.

Izetta (Izetta: The Last Witch)
Funny Knights, May, ¥15,984

Zigg: This is nice and dramatic, and certainly an impressive set piece, but I can’t help but feel that the entire treatment is a little flat and underwhelming. Maybe it’s the monowhite colour scheme, but I don’t really see much detail in the outfit, and the face is vacant as hell. Close but no cigar, and that’s no really OK at this price point.

Aqua: Izetta riding a rifle like a broom is still an idea so brilliant they actually got away with making an entire anime out of it, but the outfit she wears while doing it is a lot less worth writing home about. At this point my patience for figures with vacuum-sealed boob socks is below zero, and I’ll never be a fan of the way in which lesser companies make fabric look. The blue shading might work as an effective method of conveying silky purity in two dimensions, but here it’s downright goofy, not to mention how uncanny that face looks. To top it off, there’s a nasty seam separating her bangs from the rest of her hair – small mistakes, but pretty important in an industry where accuracy and absolute perfection is what you’re selling. Better luck next time, Funny Knights. Also, you should probably come up with a new name while you’re at it.

Iro: The broomstick-gun concept is still a great one, but there’s simply no excuse for Izetta’s stupid frilly fanservice dress that she’s presumably wearing in a combat zone. Get some fatigues at the very least.

Rem Wedding ver. (RE:Zero – Starting Life in Another World)|
Phat Company, September, ¥12,960

Zigg: It wouldn’t really be the return of AYM if I didn’t include at least one mindbogglingly awful and skeezy thing, and boy this fits the bill alright. I mean, it’s not even what you’d describe as actually erotic, just a mish-mash of horrible choices made in the name of otaku poor taste. nice detailing on those flowers though.

Aqua: What a lovely wedding! Good thing no one invited Uncle Stan––Oh, hey Uncle Stan, fancy meeting you here! Are you drunk, Uncle Stan? Dammit, you old coot, it’s two in the afternoon! No, Stan, put down that candle, what are you doing? No, you idiot, that’s the bride! Oh God. Oh dear. Someone get a fire extinguisher! Oh dear. Do you have any idea how much that dress cost?

Iro: No.

G.E.M Tai & Greymon (Digimon Adventure)
Bandai, July, ¥11,800 (Exclusive)

Zigg: We’ve so consistently complained how small and underwhelming the Digimon G.E.M. figures are that this almost feels like a personal fuck-you from Bandai. This thing is absolutely colossal and consequently I would like one very much. The price is insane of course, but what’s a little money versus a gigantic dinosaur?

Aqua: This thing is 10 inches tall and cheaper than that poor maid who got married in her knickers. What more is there to be said?

Iro: This thing is so absurdly huge and goofy that I’d almost consider actually buying it. I could use a good centerpiece for next Thanksgiving.