First Look: Love Live! Superstar!!

Anime original by Sunrise
Streaming on Funimation (US) and Crunchyroll (UK)

Premise

Kanon Shibuya is a talented singer, but her intense stage fright nevertheless caused her to fail the entrance exam for Yuigaoka High School’s music program. Now stuck in the general program, she is ready to leave music behind her — until she has a chance encounter with an idol-crazy exchange student.

Aqua’s verdict: *record scratch*

Five girls ganbare their way up topside, way up top side, way up topside
Five girls ganbare their way up topside, way up top side, way up topside

Guess what’s back, back again?
Love Live’s back, call for help
Guess what’s back, guess what’s back
Guess what’s back, guess what’s back
Guess what’s back…

They’ve created a monster, ‘cause nobody wants to
See mecha no more, they want idols, I’m chopped liver
Well if ya want IDLES, this is what I’ll give ya
A little bit of punk mixed with some hard zingers
My snark’s like a bitter hearted art critic’s
Watch the clock, every brain fart makes my blogs bigger
You concoct methods to make me stop berating
But I’m mocking this show ’til you stop advocating (hey!)
The last gen’s done, they’re graduating
Now they’re back with a fresh new cast of jailbait an’
I know in the past that I’ve been entertaining
The idea that idol shows can be quite fascinating
So the B-Lo-G won’t let me be
Or let me be free, so let me see
If this show got any better since twenty-sixteen
Cause it would feel so empty without me
So, bring out the whip, gimme the hits
Stock plots, trivial ships and terrible skits
You’re lucky your other shows ain’t so sucky
Cause you’re wasting all your talent here, fuck you, Jukki!

Now this looks like a job for me
So everybody, unfollow me
We could use a little controversy
It would feel so empty without me

Yes, discourse is my specialty
So everybody, unfollow me
Lemme bring a little controversy
Cause it feels so empty without me

Vaudevillians, five chicks on the billing
Developed by shareholders swimming in billions
Our main character’s a dozen a dull dime
’Til someone comes along after classes and yells “shine!”
A missionary, her mission is scary
Artistic devolution, polluting the airwaves
A singer, so let me raise my finger and ask
If the song is not the same as what we had in the past?
Don’t ask the fans, though, they’ll be like “silly goat,
Why can’t you see this anime’s progressive” — is it, though?
Well, that’s wack, na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na
Bad-intended men are pandering to get you wanna
Spend it all and sell your next of kin for a handshake
You roll your five-star, phone flat as a pancake
They possess her, the pressure will depress her
Molest her, right on the couch they cast her
It’s messed up, so attention please!
I dissent consensus unconscientiously
Guess my ten cents on this show’s premiere
… It’s not that awful, actually?

Well, this I could not have foreseen
So everybody, just follow me
For an even bigger controversy
It would feel so empty without me

Yes, my unpredictability
Is why everybody should follow me
This is yet another controversy
Cause it feels so empty without me

A-tisk-it a-task-it, this freak’s been gaslit?
Anybody still reading this bit be asking
Just relax, kid, I’ve not gone batshit
Just found a lot I like in this big gift basket
The CG? Yeah, that’s shit’s still creepy
But directing makes neglecting it easy
This cheesy plot with the scary student prez, though?
It’s over, nobody cares for a dead trope!
Now let’s go, before I change my mind
Lemme list all the decisions I can get behind
There’s some good jokes, and I already like
The main girl more than the last nine combined
And sometimes, this show just seems
Like the writers actually listened to my critiques
So this must mean that I was keen
And my critiques were genuine
Though I bet you’re thirsty for controversy
I admit with courtesy, so please have mercy
Not even the music gave me scurvy
Looks like my wit’s gone topsy-turvy!
Shit, there goes my cred
Bet your ass I will regret the things I said
But no matter what we’ve got yet to see
It’d be so empty without me

Yeah, this has been the job for me
So everybody, what’s wrong with me?
Guess there’s still a little controversy
And it feels so empty without me

I guess several months of quarantine
Are why everybody’s gone ornery
What a silly little controversy
But it feels so empty without me

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